Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

By Chelsea Handler

Whilst Chelsea Handler must get a couple of issues off her chest, she appeals to the next strength -- vodka. you are going to too when you discovered that your boyfriend was once having an affair with a Peekapoo or for those who needed to fake to be honeymooning together with your father so as to improve to top quality. Welcome to Chelsea's international -- a spot the place absurdity reigns ideally suited and a short wit is the easiest defensive line.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed assortment, Chelsea mines her earlier for tales approximately her kinfolk, relationships, and profession which are instantaneously singular and ridiculous. even if she's convincing her third-grade classification that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter within the sequel to Private Benjamin, determining to be extra egalitarian by means of courting a redhead, or looking for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little one who appears similar to her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for buying herself into the main outrageous events. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and impossible to resist turns of word that experience made her one of many most up to date voices in comedy this day.

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Example text

Miss, you can either take a Breathalyzer here, or we can test your urine down at the station. ” “That depends,” I said.

This seemed the better option of the two, because not only would I be putting myself out of my misery, I’d also be making a political statement. I knew if I ever came clean I would look like a complete jackass, so Jodi and I made a pact. She would confirm all my lies, and then after Christmas break the following week, we would slowly plant seeds that I was leaving the business. ” was the phrase we agreed I would use. The teasing from the older girls had come to a screeching halt, and now when I walked down the halls, almost everyone said hello, and a couple of kids even curtsied.

Not only was I petrified of what might happen next, I was furious that I would mostly likely have a bruise in the middle of my forehead, with Ash Wednesday months away. I had to think quickly. I decided the best approach was to not react at all, so I sat there watching him buzz around the room, banging his head into one wall after another. I remained seated, not wanting to run any interference and get manhandled. I knew James would crash, but I didn’t know how long that was going to take, and was praying he would get it under control by the end of the commercial break.

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